Thursday, September 29, 2005

Small Female Skull

With some surprise, I balance my small female skull in my
hands.
What is it like? An ocarina? Blow in its eye.
It cannot cry, holds my breath only as long as I exhale,
mildly alarmed now, into the hole where the nose was,
press my ear to its grin. A vanishing sigh.

For some time, I sit on the lavatory seat with my head
in my hands, appalled. It feels much lighter than I'd thought;
the weight of a deck of cards, a slim volume of verse,
but with somethig else, as though it could levitate.
Disturbing.
So why do I kiss it on the brow, my warm lips to its papery
bone,

and take it to the mirror to ask for a gottle of geer?
I rinse it under the tap, watch dust run away, like sand
from a swimming-cap, then dry it --firstborn-- gently
with a towel. I see the scar where I fell for sheer love
down treacherous stairs, and read that shattering day like
braille.

Love, I murmur to my skull, then, louder, other grand
words,
shouting the hollow nouns in a white-tiled room.
Downstairs they will think I have lost my mind. No. I only
weep
into these two holes here, or I'm grinning back at the joke,
this is
a friend of mine. See, I hold her face in trembling, passionate
hands.

Carol Ann Duffy

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